Wednesday, February 1, 2012
The Importance Of Personal Growth: Close Friends
There is an illusion permeating school hallways and college campuses that you cannot choose who you become friends with, thus indoctrinating the populace as to who can be friends with who, who you are supposed to be close with and who you are to shun and so forth. There is some truth in this statement, in that you cannot choose specific people to be friends with, as in you can't force people to like you and want to be around you, but you can choose a type of friend or people group that you would like to be around, thus placing the responsibility of the friends you choose on you and not on "how the universe works". With this being the case there are characteristics of good friends, these are the characteristics you should seek after and thus by doing so surround yourself with people that will help you grow:
A Dose Of Reality
You cannot be friends with everyone, even if you think this is the case we assure you that there is someone out there that does not like you, its a good thing to understand this for by doing so you come appreciate the people you have around you more. In this same light there are groups where you will not fit in, we are not people conditioned to fit with everyone, thus when choosing a group remember that you should seek those people that are similar to you or have similar interests. If you find yourself in a group where you have nothing in common with everyone and are the one being singled out, then there is a good chance you are part of the wrong group of friends. Don't fret though, there are many groups that fit you, this is another truth, there isn't just one group that fits you there are many groups that you may choose from and learn from, for everyone has multiple interests, generally it takes 3-4 interests to get a friendship going, not always but its a good scale to follow.
If your friends cannot be honest with one another then you are not truly friends, this is a core definition within friendship, the ability to be honest to each other and still retain the friendship. This is honesty with love, not hate, so caring for a friend, be it a form of encouragement, sympathy or simply worry, honesty is an important aspect of good friendship. Honesty is a crucial part of being able to be yourself, thus if you cannot be honest among your friends then that means that you cannot be your full self among your friends, and if you can't be yourself around your friends generally there is something wrong there. Honesty does not mean being harsh or mean to those around you, honesty does not mean revealing all of your thoughts, though honesty is an important aspect of friendship one must always remember that complete honesty is brutality, if you know a comment will hurt someones feelings then don't say it and be a good friend. Honesty is a tough thing to find, so when you do find it make sure to keep those people close for they are worth more than gold.
There is no point being friends with people that cannot be loyal to one another, it undermines everything that a friendship is to its core. When you seek a close group of friends you seek to find a group of people that you can be honest with, that you can share the best and worst of yourself with, a group that will love you regardless of what may take place, and thus loyalty becomes one of the most important aspects of friendship. This is also one of the most rare qualities found within people, a harsh reality is that the majority of people out there will always put themselves before you, that you at some point will be betrayed by someone close to you, this is an experience in life that all go through, thus further highlighting the importance of not only seeking loyal friends but acknowledging those friends, holding them close, for loyal friends are worth more than every gem in the world.
This is the most overlooked aspect when choosing friends, and no we don't mean you be superior to your friends, we mean finding people that are superior to you, people that have qualities you lack, that have strengths you do not possess, and surround yourself with these people. By surrounding yourself with people that are better than you you will grow and mature in ways that you would not have been able to had you chosen a group of people that are exactly like you or are inferior to you. This superiority can mean different things, it can be a skill, a social presence, a good student, someone that has more drive than you, or someone that is more patient than you, learn from all of these people and you will grow. When it comes to how you will face the world you do not grow the most through a mentor, or a through teachers, the majority of your education is passed down to you through your friendships, these are the people that will shape you and help you evolve, thus seek after people that are better than you.
Due to the fact that you will be shaped by the people you surround yourself with, it is important for you to seek after people that have good character. A truth of this world is that you cannot escape being influenced by those around you, another truth is that it is easier to destroy than to build, it is easier to do that which is wrong than to persevere and seek after that which is right. Thus be wise when choosing friends for it will matter when it comes to your personal growth, surround yourself with people of good character and you will grow in a positive light, surround yourself with people that lack character and you might destroy all chances of ever being able to grow. Personal growth is important, not only for your career but also when it comes to living a good life, a life worth re-living, thus seek after those friends that will be truthful with you while being loyal at all times, thus aiding in your growth with wisdom, and helping you evolve in a positive light.
We hope you surround yourself with great friends that will love you till the end.
Love from your humble blogger,