Snow White And The Huntsman: Review

   Yesterday we got the chance to go watch the new movie "Snow White And The Hunstman" and for the most part we have to admit that we enjoyed the film. The film is brilliantly directed, the script is very well written, the set was beautiful, and the acting was superb, that is except for Kristen Stewart, but we'll get to more on that a little later. This is the first movie directed by Rupert Sanders that has hit the big screen, in fact IMDB has this being the only film he has ever directed, that's doubtful for this was a job well done and usually good jobs only occur after some experience. Sanders took a cheesy story and made it raw, he stripped all the elements to the bone and gave us a different take on the famous story with a darker twist, in the end this was one of the best Snow White adaptations we have ever seen.

    Snow White isn't an easy story to attract guys to, but Sanders' Snow White is full of action and adult themes throughout the whole film. This is not a children's movie, remember that, there are very strong adult elements throughout this movie either seen or implied, thus don't take this movie as been a children's movie, that's just simply not the case. Sanders did deliver us a good strong retelling of the Snow White tale and his casting, save Kristen Steward, was brilliant. The world that Sanders created was gorgeous and is one of the big high points within this movie, we feel confident that you will feel the same way as you watch the movie.

   Chris Hemsworth stole our hearts as usual, there is a definite future for Chris we can't wait to see where his career takes him. You never know how strong an actor is going to be until you place him in a movie where his acting alone saves it from being a catastrophe. True, the movie is not saved by Chris' acting alone but he did a fantastic job as the huntsman, he was rough and tough, he was sexy and lovable, he has all the characteristics one would want when watching this movie for a huntsman. He made carrying axes look awesome, towards the end of the movie I myself was beginning to be convinced that an axe is better than a sword, true it does resemble a hammer, and true maybe I have some loyalty to him cause he is Thor, but he did a fantastic job, you can trust that for sure.

   Charlize Theron stole the show, that's a fact, no fight there, Charlize is beautiful and sexy, she is a brilliant actress and knows exactly how to seduce an audience, her casting as the evil queen was brilliant, simply brilliant. No one can hold Kristen Stewart accountable when it comes to competing against Charlize, that's an unfair battle, Charlize is a woman, she is mature and knows how to capture your heart, but Kristen Stewart is just a little girl still, she's got one expression and is not seductive at all throughout the whole film, it's an impossible competition, who can compete against Charlize? That's a tough one, only a handful of actresses would have done the trick, Stewart is not one of them.

   If you read any reviews on this movie and they don't talk about the side characters then that particular reviewer has done this movie a massive injustice. The side characters within this film where brilliantly casted, the king and his wife were awesome making the intro for this movie be amazing, Charlize's brother is a creep and repulsive, he was brilliantly portrayed as well. The toughest part in the Snow White story are the dwarves, to make dwarves not be cheesy but warriors is no easy feat, and thus they deserve our recognition for sure, even their songs where brilliantly done, they brought that bit of humor that the movie needed and they stole our hearts truly tying the movie together. 

    To recap, the huntsman played by Chris Hemsworth was brilliant, the queen played by Charlize Theron was sexy and evil, the side characters stole our hearts and tied the story together, Rupert Sanders brought the Snow White world to life and had brilliant writers work on the script and thus on these elements alone the movie is a 4/5, a sure summer blockbuster, but Kristen Stewart somehow manages to ruin this movie anyway. Kristen has one look, the opened mouth "I'm confused, where am I, I'm so high right now" look, her inability to do a serious monologue does not help her case out at all. For the most part the movie did not suck because she only had minor lines, but toward the end she has a motivational monologue which she butchers and brings the movie down from a 4/5 to a 2/5, it hurt to watch.

    Being harsh with Kristen Stewart while she is being surrounded by such an amazing cast feels wrong though, so in the end we feel that this was all Rupert Sanders' fault, he should have known better and casted someone better for the role, Jennifer Lawrence should have been the most obvious pick, she would have saved this movie, that's a fact. When you walk out of this movie and think "man that movie sucked" or "eh, it wasn't great but it was fun" take a second to imagine the movie without Kristen Stewart and you'll agree, this movie was awesome, super awesome, we loved it but Kristen Stewart killed it and made us leave with a bad taste in our mouths, this might sound harsh but it's the truth, someone has to say it, so we will.

   We hope you have had a great week, and pray that this weekend will be a safe one for you,

Love from your humble blogger,

TLC Revisited: Beyond The Absurd

  To get everyone caught up on what's going on, a few weeks back my best friend's girlfriend attempted to teach me about some of the more absurd reality TV shows around, giving birth to the article "My Big Fat Absurd Reality TV Show Weekend". After reading the article Anna has come to me and stated that TLC needed a redemption and so we embarked on another reality TV show adventure, but this time things took a surprising turn, these shows were great and thus TLC was saved in my book as a good channel. Before we start we must explain the "absurd scale", a show like "The Voice" is a 1 meaning it's not that absurd, but a show like "Long Island Medium" would rate a 10 because the absurdity level is to the roof, ok, now we can begin.

  What Not To Wear (Absurdity Level: 3-5)

    This was a great starting point, I was worried when Anna explained the premise of this show but as we watched a few episodes I became hooked. The hosts are fantastic and they are actually doing some good for society while benefiting humanity as well, it's about time we get a show where this epidemic is taken care of. Not like I'm a fashion Nazi but knowing how to dress is an important aspect in life, so I enjoyed the education provided by this show and the entertainment value given by the people chosen to be in the show and the hosts. Here is a show where watching it again would be no problem, wouldn't buy the seasons or anything, but if it were to pop up as TV surfing was taking place I would watch it for sure.

   Cake Boss (Absurdity Level 2)

    Anna decided that if we were going to save TLC that we need to watch the best shows in order of greatness, personally I place this show on the top of the list but we are going with her top four here thus why this won't be the top. Anyway, props to TLC for this show, it is truly a work of art. From beginning to end I was entertained, the people in the show were relatable and good people overall, in the episodes we watched there was very minor levels of absurdity so I can't make a claim for the whole season but Anna assures me that they all follow this pattern. Here is a show I recommend to anyone, it is fun, creative and inspiring for it shows you someone who actually pursued their dreams and succeeded. More shows like this one should be on television, which brings us to both my and Anna's choice for second best show in TLC.

    DC Cupcakes (Absurdity Level 2) 

   This show stole my heart, as the show began I already knew that Anna was right, this show is a sure fire win. The only problem with this show is that after I saw a few episodes all I wanted to do was eat some cupcakes, which can be a good idea depending on how many you eat and how many episodes of this show you watch. I can see how some people would gain weight from watching this show, people dieting I would recommend you steer clear, unless you got super awesome self control, then feel free. This show follows two sisters who ditch their corporate jobs and follow their dreams to give us the best cupcakes in the world, and it looks like they are doing very well at fulfilling their dream. The sisters are good people, good strong female roles which is awesome to find, truly awesome, I loved it from beginning to end, if you are looking for a new show I recommend this one for sure. Just sad I came in so late in the season.

     Say Yes To The Dress (Absurdity Level 3-5)

    Obviously this show is on the bottom of my list but at the top of Anna's list, but even though it is at the bottom of my list I still have to admit that this show is rather fun. After you watch the more absurd shows on TLC a show like this one becomes a pleasant relief. Though wedding dresses don't matter to me as much as they do for Anna, the overall energy was the same, it was about making people happy and having special moments occur, it was about putting people in a situation where they are in their emotional peak and see them be who they are when all walls are torn down, it can be a beautiful thing to witness. Maybe it is due to the fact that I personally have two sisters and can imagine their joy after finding their wedding dresses that makes me like this show but in the end of the day this show is enjoyable and worth taking a look at.

    And thus TLC has been redeemed thanks to the wise choices of my friend Anna, whose guiding hand is still at work when it comes to my journey through this crazy reality TV filled world. Pray for my sanity as I venture into this abyss. We hope your week has been going well and pray that it is a safe one.

Love from your humble blogger,

Airport Security Etiquette: Must Knows

      With May coming to a close we are officially approaching travel season, now high/middle schools and colleges have officially ended and the summer may begin a full. With summer comes traveling, that's just how it is, but with traveling comes airports and with airports comes trouble to those that either have never flown or have not flown for a while. There is an etiquette expected within airports and airplanes, an etiquette learned sometimes through making mistakes but often through the wise education of a senior traveler. These are rather simple things to know that will aid you in being able to have the best time possible when traveling, here are some simple tips to get you through security quickly and effectively, these are important for your own sanity and for the sanity of those waiting for you in line.

     Don't Bundle

      An easy mistake to make is to put on layers of clothing, specifically jackets, before a flight. Sometimes in colder places this is seen a lot, and this can be an issue, causing time consumption while you are in line. The issue here is that jackets must be taken off while going through security, so if you have multiple jackets on you'll have to take them all off. This might not seem like it would take a while, but it does, specially when taking into account the size of each jacket, and the fact that you'll probably need 3-4 trays to get them through security (depending on amount and size of jackets). So before going through security open your bag and place all your jackets within your bag, that way you get them across and you don't hold up the line in the process. You might think this is silly but I've been in a line once that got held up like 10 minutes because of a bundler, don't be that guy.

     Wise Footwear

   In almost every airport you'll have to remove your shoes before going through security, thus the importance of being wise in your footwear selection for that day. Sandals are perfect, though any slip on shoe will work in your favor, too many laces will always be an annoyance. Though this is an extreme case, I feel the point is made, once I was in an airport during the last years of the goth scene and this girl decided that it was going to be a great idea to wear her lace up boots to her flight, which meant that she took 10 something minutes to take them off and another 10 on the other side to put them back on, it was silly. Now you might laugh this off thinking it could never happen to you but I've seen 5 minute delays because of fancy lacy stilettos before, so please take this advice to heart and be wise in your footwear selection. 

       Your Bag is Your Friend

    People forget that there is no need to have all your jewelry on as you approach the metal detector and some of those people will take up 5 to10 to15 minutes of your time because they choose not to remove their jewelry prior to reaching the metal detectors. Here is a simple rule to follow, prior to entering the security line remove your belt and place it within your bag, then remove your watch, earrings, necklaces, phones, and wallet and anything else you might have on you and place them in your bag. Make sure to keep your picture ID and your flight ticket, you'll need those. Make sure to empty your pockets completely including receipts and any other object you might keep in there, even paper can be an issue depending on the airport you are at, playing it safe is always better than not. This process will save you tons of time when reaching security and will allow for you to pass through the metal detector the first time through instead of the 10 subsequent times. You can trust your bag to keep your things safe, remember that your bag is your friend. 

     Laptop Placement

    For some reason some people do not know this, but you must take out your laptop from its bag and place it within a tray alone (meaning separate) from its bag. The bag is then placed in a separate container where you may place your photo ID, flight ticket and shoes. There have been many a times where people have held up lines from either stuffing laptops within their bags and not being able to get them out easily or from not knowing the subsequent rules that follow laptop etiquette in airports. This again might seem silly and obvious but to some it is not, this can be due to a lack of flying or of not ever being taught the ways of the airport, now you know, please please take these things to heart.

    Respect Security

    One of the wisest things you can do in airports is to respect security teams, treat them with respect, follow their instructions and have a good attitude while going through the process of security. Airport security guards deal with some of the worst type of people and thus they get a lot of bad treatment, don't be that guy or girl that treats them badly, that's never a good plan, ever, be the one that greets them with a smile and says thank you when you leave, a smile and gratitude can go a long way. If you decide to be a stickler and have a bad attitude then I fear for you, no one likes a scene in airports and security will love to bring you down, so just be wise in the treatment of those that have more power than you, specially when they are on your side, that just makes no sense at all.

     Well now you know and knowing is half the battle. Next time you go to an airport you will maybe witness one of these or all of these in action, at that moment you'll realize how true this article was and take these things to heart. Knowing airport etiquette will save you time and energy, while respecting the people around you as well. We hope you have a great week and pray that it is a safe one.

Love from your humble blogger,

MIB 3 Does Not Disappoint: This Weekend's Must See Movie

     Though I am generally against it, I decided to read some reviews prior to watching MIB 3, all of which spoke negatively about the movie. The critiques were hitting every point of elegance the movie had to offer, from acting, to humor, to action sequences and after reading said reviews I was expecting this movie to be wretched, I'm glad they were wrong. For those that thought that there weren't many parts in the movie that were funny I have no idea where your sense of humor was the day you watched this for it was funny, and cute, it was everything one could want from a MIB movie, this was everything we wanted from the second movie but never got. MIB 3 did not disappoint, it was fun and engaging, leaving us with a thirst for more.

    Josh Brolin was brilliant in this movie as the young agent K, he breathed life into the character of K while at the same time keeping all the facial features and sound bites that the older K has gotten us used to. It is a tough performance to pull off, to pull off a young and spirited K while not making him cheesy and making it realistic, well as realistic as you can when it comes to a movie like this. I was surprised at how much I started to like the old K based on his younger self, after meeting the younger self you'll even start to like K from the first two movies, looking at him from a different light. So Josh did very well, more than expected and brought life into K's character, a job well done.

    Tommy Lee Jones performed brilliantly as always, you can't expect anything else from the guy, he's a brilliant actor with 65+ titles under his belt, this was a great addition to an already impressive career. The toughest thing here was the transformation in the beginning of the movie from a hard headed, "I'm cold K" to a "things just got real K". There is a point in the beginning of the movie where you realize that K is not a bad guy, nor is he an angry guy, he's just a tired guy with a ton of secrets that would make anyone be less talkative and more to themselves. This portrayal is not an easy one to convey, so in keeping in mind that he had a small amount of screen time and conveyed this, one can make the assertion that Jones performed brilliantly.

     Will Smith was awesome. There are so many ways one can complement Will Smith's performance in this movie, he was funny, engaging, he was young and cool, he was the Will we fell in love with in "MIB" and "Independence Day". (A side question does arise, how does Will Smith not age?) There is a good maturing to Will's character J in this movie as well, we go from standard good old J to "gotta make stuff happen J" and end with a more mature, more well rounded J, so we follow Will's character through a very real evolution that ties us even more to the character. Will Smith was everything we wanted him to be and more, bringing this movie to life in ways that only his swagger allows.

  This movie also had a stellar villain, Jemaine Clement from the great comedy band "The Flight of the Conchords" played our illustrious villain, doing a fantastic job in the process. Out of all the villains in the MIB series Boris the animal might be one of my favorites, though the MIB 2 villain might have been hot she was not an intimidating villain, Boris in the other hand steals the show a bit just by being a straight up horrible being. Jemaine outdid himself here by keeping Boris funny while not lovable, thus retaining the very real evil element that his character needs to have. It was a great performance, one meriting acknowledgement.  

    Keep in mind that this movie should not be reviewed in the same way one would review "The Artist" or "Braveheart", this is an action comedy about a fictional alien crime fighting secret organization, meaning that for what it does and attempts to do it does well, so well that I would rated it a 4/5 without a second thought. This was a fun summer movie, this is everything one could want from a MIB movie. MIB movies are not meant to be super serious or super comical, they have their own way about them, their own swagger, if you will. MIB 3 is a great movie to go watch this weekend, you will be entertained for sure, so grab some friends or family, buy some popcorn and have a good time.

   We hope you have had a fantastic week and pray that you might have a safe weekend,

Love from your humble blogger,

A Brief Intro To The Grand Rapids, Michigan Music Scene

    We got to visit some friends in Grand Rapids, Michigan this week and we were fortune to be able to be introduced to some of the local music talent that exists around these parts. It is always fun to find new artists and to get to meet nice people, so we've decided to start a new segment in the blog where we will begin searching for local artists to feature wherever we find ourselves at. We know that there is a lot going on in everyone's lives, from vacations to just plain a lot of work, so we figured that it was about time we gave you some more good underground music that you can meet and love, we hope you enjoy :)

    Green Sky

     
       The Ragbirds

        Daisy May

     
   Breathe Owl Breathe

      The Crane Wives

    And there you have it, some fun local talent that you can check out and love. We hope you are all having a great week and pray that it may be a safe one for you all.

Love from your humble blogger,

A Cocktail Of Decent Reality TV Shows

    There are a ton of reality TV shows out there, all coming from different perspectives in life and all in a range from least absurd to more absurd, we'll call this the "absurd scale", 10 being "Long Island Medium" and 1 being good competition shows like "The Voice" or "Chopped". After writing our last article on reality TV we kept getting questions afterwards about what shows we think are good and such, so we decided that we would share a variation of different shows we either find funny or consider to be decent shows out there. The best scoring in the "absurd scale" are the competition based reality shows but we decided to save those for another day, today we'll be highlighting a variety of different shows that rate along the 3-6 range in the "absurd scale", a cocktail of shows, if you will.

 The Thirsty Traveler

    This is a rare show, a show focused on educating people about the different alcoholic beverages from around the world, where he not only teaches you the history of the drink but also how to properly appreciate and respect alcohol. In a culture where alcohol is always being looked at as a means to get drunk, further expanding the amount of people that don't either know how to respect the drink or appreciate the drink, it is comforting to see a show like this sprout up, not only furthering people's education of culture around the world but also attempting to educate people on how to respect and appreciate alcoholic beverages. Depending on the episode the level of absurdity can vary in this show but overall this shows earns a prestigious 3.8/10 on the absurd scale.

   An Idiot Abroad 

    We feel like it is necessary that we mention this show, this is a great show attempting to highlight cultural differences and how perspective can make something that for one person would be beautiful be something along the insane lines for another person. It's a fun show, about a man and his best friend traveling the world, meeting people and getting a different social commentary then you would from other shows where you don't have your average 9-5 job guy. Where as other shows only have the "experts" making their own observations while making everything sound good, this show has Karl, a good simple man who gives the rest of us a voice. "Idiot Abroad" is not a show for everyone but it is a really fun show, it ranks along the 4.5/10 in the "absurd scale", give it a watch if you get a chance sometime.

    River Monsters

    There is something awesome about this show, something that puts the fear of God into us as we approach rivers while at the same time loving the episodes and wanting to watch more and more. The show is interesting and fun but the answer here is simple, Jeremy Wade, that's the reason this show is so awesome. Jeremy is a boss, he conquers nature and speaks a variation of different languages, he is an expert in his field and a brilliant host, he brings the swagger to this show. The show follows Jeremy as he travels to different countries fishing out different types on "river monsters" that either plague the land or have killed many within the land. This show rates down in the 3/10 on the "absurd scale" and is one we recommend you check out.

    Giuliana And Bill

     Here is the true cocktail factor of this article, every good cocktail needs that something sweet that makes it be as good it can be and there is not other show that can do this a perfectly as "Giuliana and Bill". Where as we are constantly surrounded by shows with dysfunctional families and marriages, here is a show that stands out among the rest as the one show with a decent relationship. They aren't perfect but this is a good show about good people trying to have a good relationship, it's about time someone makes a show like this and makes it a good one. We have a lot of fun watching this show and consider it to be the best of all the relationship based reality TV shows, it rates at the 4.2/10 mark in the "absurd scale", give this show a watch sometime.

   And there you have it, a hodge-podge of decent reality TV shows that you should watch sometime whenever you get a chance. Stay tuned for Wednesday's article, we got a chance to meet some of the local music talent in Grand Rapids, Michigan, so on Wednesday we'll be hosting a variation of local bands who are either just starting or already have a decent following. We hope you have a great week and pray that it is a safe one. 

  Love from your humble blogger,

"The Dictator" Surprises and "Battleship" Sinks

  Sacha Baron Cohen's new production "The Dictator" was expected to be a bust, it was expected to be Sacha going even more over the top than what he has done before, and oh were we mistaken. If you followed Sacha's career you know that his beginnings weren't exactly shocking (as far as material goes) but that the more he released movies the older his characters became and thus the more he felt that he needed to "shock" people into liking him, which led to him putting himself in dangerous situations offending powerful people at times. For the most part we enjoyed these antics ("Bruno" aside of course), but this new addition to his collection came as a surprise to many in that we were expecting something even more absurd than "Bruno" but instead he gave us something fresh and enjoyable.

   Keep in mind that this is a Sacha Baron movie so there are very strong scenes within this movie, but they are more in the "Monty Python" spirit and not the gross stunts he was attempting to sell to us earlier. The story is making a good social critique about our interactions with the middle east and plays on various silly jokes. There is a possibility that we are being bias here because we thought this movie was going to be wretched but this movie was pretty funny, as funny as you would want a Sacha film to be, it is worse than "Borat" but better than "Bruno", it has gross mature content but for the most part it's not done in a horrible manner, so though we are cautious in recommending anything by Sacha we say if you like his work then go watch it, if you don't don't go, it's as easy as that. In the end this movie is a 3/5 in its genre, it is surprisingly not as offensive as we thought it would be but also at the same time it is not as good as it could be content wise. We cringe as we say this but we hope Sacha makes another one and an "evolution" is seen following the steps of this production.

      With all this being said here is the negative things about this movie, Sacha is offensive to everyone, we mean everyone, he is not "as" offensive as his previous productions but still offensive, no one escapes being offended or made fun off. Some things he talks about are witty and humorous  but many are under the belt shots that are sure to offend anyone that has a hard time being picked on, so he doesn't quite reach the "Monty Python" level of comedy yet, but he is on his way to producing something more along those lines, soon we hope. So if shows like "South Park" or "Family Guy" offend you then know that this movie will be incredibly offensive to you, this is not a movie for everyone just like those shows are not for everyone. One thing is a fact though, Sacha has stepped up his game a bit with this movie and this might be the beginning of something new in his career, for that we are thankful and look forward to what he will try to bring to us next.

   One would have imagined that we would have spent three paragraphs on "Battleship" instead of "The Dictator" but color us disappointed when it comes to "Battleship". Going in we knew this movie was going to attempt to be the brashest movie of the summer, much like "Cowboys and Aliens" was last year, but take it from us this movie didn't even come close to being comparable to "C&A". "Battleship" has a lot of guns, some explosions (nothing like Michael Bay delivers but still nice), no character development, almost no plot, tons of sub plots which almost all don't come together or matter in the end, and you never find out much about these aliens, just that humanity is awesome and we would win a war even if it was against an advanced civilization.

   While watching this movie you got a feeling that they wanted to please everyone with what they were putting on screen, they didn't even have time to give us one concrete character due to this approach, it is always dangerous to put 20-30 subplots in a shotgun and hope for the best when constructing a movie. The movie would have been awesome if they had let go of all the multiple story lines and just focused on one or two of them allowing us time to fall in love with a character, maybe even adding more depth to the alien attack would have been nice as well, a few lines here and there can go a long way. This isn't a "theater movie" this is a "Oh, 'Battleship' is on HBO, let's give it a watch" movie, we give it a 2/5, even with explosions. You know a movie is bad when we would rather watch "The Dictator" again in order to wash the horribleness out after you finish watching it. Might sound harsh, but this movie is deserving of the harshness.

   We hope you find yourself having an amazing weekend, for those graduating this weekend we tip our hats to you, Congrats! Have a fantastic weekend and be safe over this summer.

Love from your humble blogger,